Eating My Way Through Koreatown.

So, before I write anything, here's a picture I took of something I ate:


It may not be obvious from looking at this enchantress, but what we have here is a genuine squid stuffed with pork. It's kind of hard for me to come up with a caption for this picture, because the concept is an apex in and of itself. Clearly breeding squids with pigs was the greatest act of animal husbandry ever.

Anyway, this is from Pocha 32 in Koreatown. It's one of those hole-in-the-wall places where you and your white friends aren't really welcomed. In fact, when I was there, our table was the only one with Caucasians. However, the food is fantastic and I wish instead of going to work tomorrow I was just going to Pocha 32 to eat. All day. Stopping only to write about it on the internet. What's that, you want some ambiance?


I've never been to a dive bar in Korea, and chances are I never will, but something tells me this might be what one is like. The ceiling is covered with dorm-room chic Christmas lights nestled between a wealth of fungible soju caps. In my extensive research for this blog post, I learned of a Korean toast, mashi-go chuk-ja, which translates to "let's drink and die."


Well, if it isn't a blurry photo of budae jjigae! This stew really is apparently a fantastic result of American military occupation. Its contents rest in a thin, yet forcefully flavorful and spicy broth. Pretty much everything is included: ramen noodles, rotelli, spam, hot dogs, pork, rice cakes, kimchi. Heck, it's even topped off with cheese. If that doesn't appeal to you in some way, chances are we can't be friends.

Blastin' Memes Execution Fashion.

There's a lot of sides to me. But primarily, there's the side that likes to eat and the side that likes to dislike things and antagonize them because other people like them. That being said, here are a list of revised facts about Chuck Norris:

• Whenever Chuck Norris goes over to his friends' houses, he always looks through their medicine cabinets.
• Every Friday night, Chuck Norris orders a whole large meat-lovers pizza from Papa Johns, eats it by himself, and spends the rest of the night crying in front of the mirror.
• Chuck Norris hits "reply all" on every single e-mail he receives. No matter what.
  
• Whenever he sees a homeless person, Chuck Norris keeps on walking, doesn't make eye contact, and pretends that they don't exist.
• Once Chuck Norris didn't have any clean towels when he got out of the shower, so he used a paper towel.
• Chuck Norris went to prom with his second cousin. He only got to first base.
• Despite a plethora of passive aggressive notes left by his roommates, Chuck Norris rarely washes his dishes and just waits for someone else to do them. When confronted in person, Chuck Norris denies ever having used the dishes before storming off to his room to post on his LiveJournal.
• This one time, Chuck Norris was broke and payday wasn't until next week, so he got drunk by drinking a bottle of Listerine he found under the sink.
• When Chuck Norris went to college, he once made out with another guy. He liked it, but was so ashamed of having anyone find out that he unfriended the guy on facebook and ignored him at parties. Today he manifests his suppressed desires by vehemently opposing gay marriage.
• Chuck Norris once told his mother that he was sick and couldn't attend her birthday party, but he really was just playing World of Warcraft and didn't want to go.
• Chuck Norris takes cups from home to fast food restaurants so he can fill them up at the soda fountain without paying.
• Whenever the check comes at a restaurant, Chuck Norris always says that he forgot his wallet at home and asks for his friends to spot him.
  
• Chuck Norris' girlfriend told him that she was pregnant, so he dumped her.

Hopefully these facts have shed some new light on an old, busted meme.

The Perils of Science.

So, I just learned about this study by Wansink, Painter, & North (2005) called Bottomless bowls: why visual cues of portion size may influence intake. They inferred that people who had soup from self-refilling bowls ate more than people who had soup refilled manually. Despite having the same access to soup, the people who ate from self-refilling bowls consumed more.

This raises an extremely interesting questions regarding portion control and visual cues. Where the hell is my god damn self-refilling bowl? It's been in the 2000's for the longest time and here I am like a common chump refilling my own bowl of soup. How come science invents these devices for the sole purpose of making us feel bad and not distributing them to the masses who are in desperate need of infinite soup?

I call for a boycott of all science.

Law & Order: Criminal Intent to Eat.

One of the problems I have with this blog is that I never end up taking photos of some of the very delicious things that I eat. Which is a shame, because some things I put in my mouth should be photographed beforehand. But, alas, let's see what we have here on this here internet ...


So, a group of gentlemen-bros and I went to this restaurant called S'Mac in the East Village which specializes in homonyms and macaroni and cheese. Of course, to make things novel, they offer all kinds of delightful takes on the classic. I dabbled in a buffalo chicken macaroni and cheese. It was covered in breadcrumbs and bleu cheese. If you like macaroni and cheese and buffalo chicken, chances are you'll love it. If you don't like either of those things, chances are we aren't friends.


What can I say about Papaya Dog? It's cheap, easy, and delicious (like my ex-girlfriend! Ho ho! Which one?!). The dogs have that perfect crispy casing and they're always cooked just right on that fantastically sketchy grill. Plus, you can't go wrong with papaya drink. Ever.